Monday, September 28, 2015

DoD accused of ducking Afghan child abuse controversy with 'lawyer-speak'

Monday, September 21, 2015

Defense Department under fire for handling of child abuse claims in Afghanistan

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Beyond the Horrible, the Reality of Sexual Assault in Youth Detention

By |

I was 18 years old when I was arrested and sent to jail. But the real hell of my life to come started on my 19th birthday, when the state shipped me off to a place called Alto, a notorious youth prison in north Georgia.There was much to fear in this place, but nothing quite frightening as much as the likelihood of sexual assault.

I knew from talking to older guys in jail, before I was sent off to Alto, that rapes were common, but nothing they told me prepared me for the reality of what I witnessed. The place (it has since been shuttered) had been built in the 1930s as a hospital. Fifty years later, it was a dilapidated house of horrors. You see, it wasn’t designed to be a prison, so there were countless places where terrible and dangerous things could go on easily out of sight of any guard lounging in the comfort of a control booth or guard tower. In this environment we were expected to take care of and fend for ourselves, and some men couldn’t.

It was all a nightmare, but one incident especially continues to haunt me. A young man had recently been moved into our dorm. He was a small guy with a timid attitude. Immediately several predators began to test him. They would start by disrespecting him in some way, then, when he did not respond, they would increase the pressure. This went on a few days, until they threatened kill him if he didn’t give in to their demands.

If he did what they wanted, they promised him, they would protect him from the other rapists. In this way they “convinced” him, and he surrendered in order to save himself. So they set out to have their way. They hung a towel so that the guards couldn’t see into the area and ordered the boy to perform oral sex on them, one after another.

A line formed. Those that wanted the “service” waited their turn, while those that opposed what was happening did nothing. After an hour or so it was over. He walked into the bathroom and stood looking into the mirror. I saw him as he pulled out a blade removed from a safety razor and began to slash at his throat. He never stopped staring at his reflection. The guards ran in and took him away, never to be seen by us again

Sexual assaults happened at every prison I lived in over my nearly 25 years of incarceration. They were not always so blatant or extreme, but they were common. Victims seldom reported the incidents. If they did they risked being further endangered, not just by their attackers, but by staff as well. Often when incidents were reported the authorities did little to stop it. Sometimes the staff did not believe the allegation, or thought that the accuser had brought the attack on themselves somehow. Sometimes the staff simply resented the hassle of doing the paperwork, and they especially did not like accusations that they hadn’t done their jobs.

Also, the attackers were seldom punished to the full extent of the law. Institutions often form closed loops that resist outside evaluation, so the crimes were not always reported to the district attorneys. Even when they were, DAs were sometimes reluctant to prosecute. Crimes that occur in prison are less likely to be prosecuted, including rape. This means that attackers and victims often remain in close proximity.

Juvenile prisons do not seem to be any better, and may be even worse than adult prisons. I knew many men who had been in youth facilities, some within the past few years, and the horror stories they told about their days in youth detention centers reminded me of my own days as a teenager in prison. I was reminded of this while doing some research recently. Part of my reading included the 2010 Department of Justice National Survey of Youth in Custody. Much of it seemed familiar, though there were a few surprises as well.

This will be familiar reading to some people who know this issue and have worked to try to eliminate it. Me, well I’m still being educated about how academics and bureaucrats see from the outside a life I lived on the inside.

The report was compiled by the Bureau of Justice Statistics in compliance with the Prison Rape Elimination Act. However, the DOJ review panel on prison rape downplayed the results, saying that it “indicated that sexual assault in juvenile facilities was relatively rare and facility staff, for the most part, did not victimize juvenile offenders.”

This was their position, despite the fact that of the 26,550 youths involved in the survey, about 10 percent, reported being victimized by staff. Another 2.6 percent reported being assaulted by other inmates. Of the alleged assaults by staff 95 percent were female, with 92 percent of the victims being male. These events are often minimized by administrators and categorized as consensual relationships. Even though sexual relations between staff and juvenile inmates is illegal across the United States, the male inmates who have sex with female staff are not seen as victims.

This position is ridiculous. First, as juveniles, many of these victims are outside of the legal range for having consensual sex with adults. Being incarcerated does not remove them from the moral sphere, nor does it mean that they deserve less consideration from society. Second, the power dynamics of a prisoner and his or her keepers are hugely skewed. In terms of power, the prisoner is a slave and the staff member, the master. It is not possible that a relationship can happen between a prisoner and a staff member without coercion, either implicit or explicit. The very power that a staff member holds is a huge threat. With little effort the employee can cause the child tremendous problems.

Even if the child wants the relationship, we as a society do not condone it. In the world outside of prisons these relationships are illegal. They are unacceptable to say the least in a facility where the inmate is supposed to be protected and given an opportunity to be rehabilitated. Being the victim in a one-sided relationship meets neither of these goals.

Whatever form sexual assaults take in juvenile facilities, they should not be tolerated or downplayed. More oversight needs to be in place that is not a part of the facility itself. More staff screenings need to occur at opposite-gender facilities. Those who do commit these crimes need to be punished.
The laws are already in place. They only need to be enforced with the same vigilance that sent these kids to prison.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

State Department: Sexual Abuse of Boys on the Rise in Afghanistan

By Melanie Hunter | March 19, 2014 | 1:57 PM EDT

 ( – The State Department in its 2013 human rights report on Afghanistan said the sexual abuse of boys, or bacha baazi, is on the rise in the region, with the practice becoming common in Kabul.
“The practice of ‘bacha baazi’ (dancing boys) – which involved powerful or wealthy local figures and businessmen sexually abusing young boys who were trained to dance in female clothes – was on the rise,” the State Department said in its human rights report.
The report noted an increase in rapes during the year, with most victims being children. In fact, sexual abuse of children reached an all-time high, according to the Afghanistan Independent Human Rights Commission (AIHRC).
“Although pornography is a crime, child pornography is not specifically prohibited by law. Exploiting a child for sexual purposes, as was done with bacha baazi, also was widespread but not specified as a crime under the law,” the State Department noted in its report.
“Although the practice was believed to be more widespread in conservative rural areas, at least one media report alleged that it had become common in Kabul. Media reports also alleged that local authorities, including the police, were involved in the practice, but the government took few steps to discourage the abuse of boys or to prosecute or punish those involved,” the human rights report said.
An Oct. 28, 2013 article by Foreign Policy magazine said bacha baazi, or sexual abuse of boys, “has grown more rampant since 2001” when the Taliban was ousted.
“The Taliban had a deep aversion towards bacha bazi, outlawing the practice when they instituted strict nationwide sharia law,” the article said, adding that “one of the original provocations for the Taliban’s rise to power in the early 1990s was their outrage over pedophilia.”
“Once they came to power, bacha bazi became taboo, and the men who still engaged in the practice did so in secret,” FP reported. “When the former mujaheddin commanders ascended to power in 2001 after the Taliban’s ouster, they brought with them a rekindled culture of bacha bazi. Today, many of these empowered warlords serve in important positions, as governors, line ministers, police chiefs, and military commanders.”
The article referred to a 2009 Human Terrain Team report titled, “Pashtun Sexuality,” which said bacha bazi is not considered “un-Islamic or homosexual at all” according to Pashtun social norms.
The report was done by the U.S. Army and is comprised of personal field notes dated May 15, 2009 by Human Terrain Team AF-6, which was assigned to the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Battalion and co-located with British forces in Lashkar Gah. It was requested to provide insight into Pashtun cultural traditions regarding male sexuality.
‘Women are for children, boys are for pleasure’
The 2009 Human Terrain Team report noted that “one of the country’s favorite sayings is ‘women are for children, boys are for pleasure.’”
Homosexuality is strictly prohibited in Islam. “To identify as such is to admit an enormous sin in Islam – one punishable by death under the Taliban and one that would result in severe tribal and familial ostracization today,” the report said.
However, “even men who practice homosexuality exclusively are not labeled by themselves or their counterparts as homosexual.” Therefore, “it appears to be the label, not the action or the preference, that poses the greatest problem.”
Homosexuality is defined – “narrowly and specifically” – as the love of another man, the HTT report said.
“Loving a man would therefore be unacceptable and a major sin within this cultural interpretation of Islam, but using another man for sexual gratification would be regarded as a foible – undesirable but far preferable to sex with an ineligible woman … which would likely result in issues of revenge and honor killings,” the Army’s report added.
The report noted that in Pashtun society, access to women is “extremely limited.”
“Heterosexual relationships are only allowable within the bounds of marriage, and Pashtun honor demands that a man be able to demonstrate his ability to support a wife and family, as well as produce abundant wedding-gifts for the bride and her parents, before he is allowed to marry,” it said.
“Therefore, given the economic situation of most young Pashtun men and the current state of employment and agriculture within the Pashtun regions of Afghanistan, marriage becomes a nearly unattainable possibility for many,” it added.
The report noted a cyclical effect when young boys are sexually abused.
Many of them spend their “formative years” in Taliban madrasas (Islamic religious school), where they miss out on a mother’s influence. “Women are foreign, and categorized by religious teachers as, at best, unclean or undesirable,” the HTT report said.
“It is then probable that the male companionship that a boy has known takes a sinister turn, in the form of the expression of pedophilia from the men that surround him. Such abuse would most likely result in a sense of outrage or anger, but anger that can not possibly be directed at the only source of companionship and emotional support a boy knows, and on which he remains dependent,” it said.
“This anger may very well be then directed at the foreign object – women – resulting in the misogyny typical of Pashtin Islamism. Men and boys therefore remain the object of affection and security for these boys as they grow into men themselves, and the cycle is repeated,” the unclassified report said.
It concluded that such a cycle affects both males and females and “leads to violence against women and women’s suppression in Pashtun culture.”
“If women are no longer the source of companionship or sexual desire, they become increasingly and threateningly foreign,” adding to the cycle of “male isolation from women.” asked the State Department to confirm and explain the correlation between the practice of bacha baazi and the Taliban while the Taliban was in power in Afghanistan.
The State Department responded, saying, “As noted in the report, Afghanistan has made important human rights achievements in the past 12 years, but more work remains to be done to protect and expand on the gains made since 2001. The overall human rights satiation in Afghanistan remained poor.
“The Taliban and other insurgents killed record numbers of civilians and pursued targeted killings of persons affiliated with the government. Widespread disregard for the rule of law and official impunity for those who committed human rights abuses were serious problems, and the government did not prosecute abuses by officials consistently and effectively,” it added.
“The United States continues to provide diplomatic and programmatic support to Afghanistan, including to civil society and human rights actors, as Afghanistan seeks to build a stable, prosperous, and democratic future. Our support includes building civil society’s capacity to defend against a rollback of critical human rights gains,” the State Department concluded.

Friday, August 7, 2015

Crystal Methamphetamine: The Other Sexual Addiction

Cross and Co-Occurring Addictions

Individuals who are cross-addicted are people who switch from one addiction to another—for instance, Suzanne stops drinking alcohol, then gains 40 pounds in three months, replacing booze with compulsive eating. People with co-occurring addictions struggle with multiple addictions at the same time—for instance, Eric smokes pot morning, noon, and night, and also plays video games for eight to ten hours each day.

Cross and co-occurring disorders are especially common with sex addicts. In one survey of male sex addicts, 87 percent of respondents reported that they regularly abused either addictive substances or other addictive behaviors. Considerable anecdotal evidence suggests that for a majority of sex addicts with a co-occurring addiction the secondary drug of choice is crystal methamphetamine. Sex addicts also use cocaine, crack cocaine, and almost any other stimulant—but crystal meth is usually cheaper and more readily available.

Consider Brad, a married, 38-year-old lawyer:
I grew up in a painful, empty, abusive middle-class home where work was a much bigger priority than home for my smart, funny, angry, alcoholic father. Whenever my brothers or I got in trouble, Dad would whip off his belt before asking questions, especially when he was drinking. And he drank a lot.
I learned early on how to look good, how to lie and manipulate my way out of trouble, and most of all how to stay under the radar. I left home as soon as I could and got into a good college, followed by law school. Law school is when I first tried meth, initially to help me stay awake and study. It worked, too, because I graduated Cum Laude. Immediately after law school I married Grace and took a job with a well-regarded firm.
What Grace and my new firm didn’t know (because no one did) was that I was living a double life. In early adolescence I would sneak booze from my Dad’s stash, and I spent most evenings alone in my room getting buzzed while perusing and masturbating to Playboy. This became a pattern I used to relax and sleep, and it continued into adult life.
By my twenties, Internet porn and “dating” websites replaced magazines and videos, and crystal meth became my substance of choice. By the time I made junior partner at 29 (the youngest ever at my firm) I had established an escalating pattern of telling Grace that I was “going out of town for work,” which really meant holing up in some hotel with a big baggie of meth, getting high, and masturbating to porn until the drugs ran out. Eventually I replaced the porn with prostitutes—especially those women willing to come to my room meth in hand.
Our son Jamie was about three years old when a routine medical exam revealed that Grace had a long-standing, undiscovered STD. That’s how she found out about my cheating. I convinced everyone around me that the problem was drugs (related to the past), that the sex only happened when I was high (mostly true), and didn’t happen very often (a total lie).
To appease Grace I entered a high-end drug and alcohol treatment center. In six weeks of intensive (and expensive) treatment no one ever asked about my lifelong pairing of substances and sexual acting out. And I never volunteered that information, either. I left there chemically sober, but without a clue about handling all the sexual problems and related secrets that I continued to keep.
I didn’t realize that I was a drug and sex addict until one of my inevitable meth relapses (all related to sex) landed me (along with my professional license) in jail for doing drugs with prostitutes. It was only when facing the loss of my marriage and career that I became willing to address both of my addictions.

What is Crystal Meth?

Crystal meth (crystallized methamphetamine) is a synthetic version of adrenaline, a naturally occurring hormone the body produces in small amounts when reacting to immediate stress. Adrenaline increases energy and alertness when we need a short burst to escape immediate danger.
The main difference between crystal meth and adrenaline is adrenaline clears out of our systems quickly, whereas methamphetamine sticks around for six to eight hours. Known on the street as meth, crystal, crank, tweak, speed, ice, ice cream, Tina, tweedy, etc., methamphetamine is sold legally (with a prescription) in tablet form as Desoxyn—FDA approved for the treatment of ADHD and obesity.

More often, though, it’s cooked in makeshift labs and sold illegally as a powder or rock. The powder form can be snorted, smoked, eaten, or dissolved and injected; the rock form is usually smoked. Meth binges are known as “tweaking.” When tweaked, addicts stay awake for days or even weeks at a time. Sometimes episodes don’t end until the user is arrested or hospitalized for psychotic behavior, or the user’s body is no longer able to function and “crashes” of its own accord.

Often called “the sex drug,” meth is the preferred “party favor” for anonymous Internet and smart-phone hookups. Like all stimulants, meth use evokes profound feelings of euphoria, intensity, and power in the user, along with the drive to obsessively do whatever activity that person wishes to engage in, including having sex.

In fact, users say the drug allows them to be sexual for an entire day with or without orgasm—even two or three days—without sleeping, eating, or coming down, especially when Viagra or Cialis is along for the ride.

One recovering meth and sex addict in treatment at the Sexual Recovery Institute in Los Angeles stated, “When I do crystal meth, the sex just goes on forever.”
Another noted, “There’s no love, no caring, no emotion involved. I don’t care who they are, or even what their names are. I just want sex, sex and more sex.”

Crack May Be Whack, but Meth…

Crystal meth is undoubtedly among the most troublesome illicit drugs currently en vogue, and for sex addicts the dangers extend beyond the usual problems associated with crystal meth abuse. First and foremost, when a user is intoxicated and dis-inhibited by a stimulant as powerful as meth, safe sex practices are out the window—especially for individuals accustomed to having multiple anonymous partners for hours at a time.

Because of this, the risk of contracting or transmitting HIV, hepatitis, and other STDs increases significantly. Moreover, meth use combined with sex often leads to abuse of other drugs—for instance, to counteract “crystal dick” (meth induced impotence) many men take Viagra, Cialis, or another erectile dysfunction treatment. And meth users of both genders often rely on sleeping pills, nighttime cold medicines, pot, and other “downers” to come off their high and get some sleep because meth can keep users awake for days—long after the enjoyable effects have worn off.

Furthermore, ingesting meth (or any other stimulant) causes the user’s brain to release large amounts of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with feelings of pleasure. Over time, repeated meth use (especially when that use is bolstered by the “natural” high of sex) both depletes the body’s stores of dopamine and destroys the wiring of dopamine receptors.

Eventually meth addicts are unable to experience any simple human pleasure without being high—a condition known as anhedonia. Not surprisingly, sex-meth addicts often report having a very difficult time enjoying healthy intimacy and healthy sexual activity once sober. For these individuals it can take a year or more for the brain’s dopamine levels to normalize. Occasionally, this sexual/intimacy-related anhedonia can be semi-permanent.

And of course sex-meth addicts also experience the usual problems associated directly with meth addiction. Anhedonia, described above, results in an ever deepening cycle of use and depression, and an increasing unwillingness to participate in life. Relationships disintegrate, jobs are lost. Children of crashing meth addicts are left to fend for themselves for days on end. When tweaking, meth addicts generally exhibit poor judgment and engage in dangerous, hyperactive behavior. Many commit petty or violent crimes.

Long-time users often develop symptoms of psychosis including paranoia, aggression, hallucinations and delusions. Meth addicts may experience serious physical health problems such as anorexia, convulsions, stroke, and cardiac collapse, any of which can be fatal. They may also develop “meth mouth,” a condition of severe tooth decay and tooth loss caused by the constant dry mouth and teeth grinding associated with stimulant drug use.

Meth dries out the skin as well, leading many addicts to believe they are infested with “meth lice,” causing them to frantically scratch their face, arms, and legs with their fingernails—a behavior known as “picking.” Picking sometimes results in serious self-inflicted wounds and infection.

Treatment for Cross or Co-Occurring Meth and Sex Addiction

Drug and alcohol addictions are critical problems which nearly always have to be eliminated before the issues underlying behavioral and fantasy-based addictions such as sex can be addressed. After all, drugs and alcohol are disinhibiting. They weaken a person’s judgment to the point where that person cannot remain committed to other boundaries he or she may have previously set, such as not having certain kinds of sex.

Unless the individual abusing drugs and/or alcohol gets sober from those substances, it is unlikely that he or she will be able to eliminate problematic sexual behavior for very long. It is also important that treatment specialists help sex-meth addicts understand that sex in the future will not be nearly as intense or exciting as what they’re used to. The sex-meth addict will need adjust his or her expectations regarding the “rewards” of sexual activity, otherwise that person is likely to be disappointed and return to the addictive behaviors, both chemical and sexual, in an attempt to recreate past pleasures.

An exception to the rule of “getting chemically sober first” applies to sex-meth addicts who have so fused drug and sex addiction that they cannot remain chemically sober because of their sexual acting out, and they cannot remain sexually sober because of their substance abuse. For these individuals, relapse with one addiction nearly always leads to quick relapse with the other. In such cases, substance abuse and sexual acting out need to be dealt with at the same time in order to stay sober on either front.

Recognizing this, there are now treatment facilities that specialize in addressing cross and co-occurring disorders simultaneously. Chief among these treatment centers are the gender-separate co-occurring disorders programs at The Ranch, located in Tennessee. Numerous residents at The Ranch present with sex and drug problems that are so intricately intertwined there is no hope of lasting sobriety without addressing both issues at once. Through treatment tailored specifically to the needs of each patient, the chances for long-term recovery are greatly increased.

Thursday, August 6, 2015


***Blogger Note:  I saw this being forwarded on FB.  I have conversed with numerous sexual predators when I was employed in a Corrections environment. I have also read hundreds of sex-crime
interviews/LEO reports. These potential victim traits are very accurate.***

 It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not manypeople know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world.

FYI - Through a rapist's eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in
prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim
and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid
or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to
go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women
who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors
around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through
their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are
off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is
grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman
and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to
worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going
after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or
other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to
the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince
these guys you're not worth it.


1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or
with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask
them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now
that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up,
you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of
you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to
said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of
it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER
SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can
do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from
behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this
guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was
trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin
and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching
yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it
is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and
make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers
and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing
down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of
your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any
odd behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really
was trouble.

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be
some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading,
forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in
this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your
body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks
for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from
you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back
tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like
crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating,
working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The
predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for
him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell
you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or
parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the
passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE

b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the
passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling
them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and
the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest
your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE
THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are
horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS
RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times;
And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may
get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a
good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies
of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when
he abducted his next victim.

I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a
life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going
to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers,
wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the
world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than

Male Victims of Abuse Face Stigmas

  • January 12, 2015
  • By

The so-called “stronger sex” reluctant to speak up when battered

While domestic violence is a plight most often faced by women, men are not immune to becoming victims. An estimated 835,000 men are physically assaulted by intimate partners every year, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. [1]
The fact is, the statistics on male victims are hard to collaborate. For instance, the U.S. Department of Justice reports that 85% of domestic abuse victims are women, while on the other hand another study estimated that more than 40 percent of domestic abuse victims are men. [2]

Male victims of domestic violence face similar challenges, regardless of the statistics.

Either way, male survivors often face different stigmas than female survivors do, and these stigmas can prevent them from coming forward to report their abuse. Advocates report that men can be afraid of the stereotype that they should be the “stronger sex” and, as such, should be able to fight back against their abuser. Or, they may be afraid of disclosing their sexuality if the abuse occurred in a same-sex relationship. Men more often face skepticism from police, and there are few domestic violence shelters that admit men.
Carmen Pitre, executive director of the Sojourner Family Peace Center, the largest nonprofit provider of domestic violence support services in Wisconsin, says she’s seen these fears play out with her own male clients. “They may think they’re less of a man, or they’re told, ‘What’s wrong with you? You can’t handle your woman?’ They think they should be macho. It adds a layer of difficulty for men.”
She says society needs to do a better job overall at letting male survivors know they’re not alone. “We believe the fight against violence is a human rights issue—if you’re hurt by anyone, it’s wrong.”
So what should you do if you’re a male victim of abuse? First, don’t be afraid to reach out and break the isolation abuse often brings with it, says Pitre. Talk to a domestic violence advocate—you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). “An advocate can help you navigate the system, but also just have a conversation about control, possessiveness, jealousy, etc.,” says Pitre.
Men can also contact a shelter, even if it’s a women-only shelter. Advocates should be able to refer men to another shelter within their network of resources that will take male survivors. And indeed, 86.9% of the programs that have completed their profiles at say they accept male victims of domestic violence.
Most of all, male survivors need to silence the stereotypes and stigmas running through their heads. Says Pitre, “We serve men as we do all our clients. They deserve dignity, respect and autonomy.”